Active ambivalence between online and on-site in Life
Thoughts on the question of why children on the Internet (dangerously) do exactly what we as adults unnecessarily do not allow ourselves. Children take avoidable risks when interacting with unfamiliar people and spaces. Adults, on the other hand, avoid opportunities by often foregoing the limits of their thoughts and abilities. How can both generations do more for their safety and development? This article provides the answers.
For security reasons, you should only use sources of information on the Internet that are known and that you can control at least to some extent.
Children in particular are exposed to great danger when they venture into the unknown, the adventure of learning something new.
Criminals know exactly how to take advantage of this: the wide open window of the attention of a young, adventurous mind, a child. The child wants to explore the world in their own way, climb into dark shafts, climb trees, experiment with Silverster rockets. This is a natural drive that nothing can be done about it.
At the end of World War II, children went into the cellars of bombed-out houses to do research. Life threatening. These children are now grandparents of today’s digital natives.
How can parents and educators of today argue when it is not really dark shafts into which their children could fall, but “only” the Internet or online games?
Above all, it is important that they do not condemn the children’s thirst for knowledge and interest in the unknown, including the forbidden. A child’s brain is constantly researching. It trains itself to overcome the previous limits of the imaginable and to dive into new dimensions.
How can more security be achieved? By prohibitions?
In order to reach children, it is crucial to take them seriously, to sit down with them on the stairs and to be at their height from which they look out over the world.
It is important, on the one hand, to demonstrate understanding for the dark cellars that one would like to go into – virtually – or the celebrity that a flattering avatar promises to be if one simply sends a few nice photos.
Understanding the natural concerns and interests of children and adolescents is essential for what follows: the differentiation between the virtual world and its real dangers – and the real world in which dreams are made with appropriate planning and diligence (Luck, Labor under correct knowledge) can be realized.
When children experience that there can be real implementation options for their life dreams in the real world, they will no longer be so easily lied to and endangered by criminals. It is crucial that we take the children seriously – as well as the risks.
With all caution, one thing is important and at the same time very interesting from a research point of view.
On the one hand, as parents and grandparents, we have to provide the children of this generation with thorough education about the physical, painful risks behind the abstract, often harmless-looking skins, covers and avatars in computer games and social media profiles.
On the other hand, as adults, if we want to grow and mature in life, we must practice the exact opposite of what we (legitimately) declare to be dangerous to our children.
Humanity still tends to accept blatant lies, bad passwords, and dangerous online behavior rather than being interested in the adventure of lifting unnatural restrictions on personal development.
Stay curious – this should be the indispensable mantra in a life that enriches itself through experiences and becomes a treasure that others can also enjoy.
It is essential that we …
… climb tall trees in order to see and understand our own life: trees so tall that they reach into the stratosphere
… get in contact with unknown avatars – inner sides (ego states) of us who want to be seen and who want to live
… enter into dialogues with strangers in our soul or our unconscious, let ourselves be inspired and also “seduced” into daring thoughts, behind which wonderful dreams can reveal themselves, which turn out to be a gift for life.
Is it all a conflict? On the contrary. It’s human.
A thirst for adventure and curiosity are fundamental human forces. They keep the brain and metabolism healthy. Suppressing curiosity can lead to depression. Letting curiosity run rampant at any time and at any age is a danger.
It all depends on the middle ground. Modern man needs a differentiating ambivalence.
When interacting with the anonymous world out there, there are a number of basic security aspects to consider. This includes hiding the true identity and geographical location.
In the interaction with our life – this applies to adolescents as well as adults of all ages – obstructive boundaries should fall. This includes doubts about one’s own skills and development opportunities. This includes the doubts of parents and teachers that they should expect something from their children. The frustration tolerance is possibly also so low because after a game over there are any number of new lives and opportunities in the virtual world. In real life, if you eat improperly and don’t exercise enough, your clothes are physically too tight, your school exams run out at some point, or your university education ends at some point if the student isn’t studying.
This differentiating ambivalence can be put into practice and conveyed to the children in child-friendly language.
In relation to children and young people, this means educating them about technical facts and warning them of what can happen if they do not protect themselves.
The message to adults is almost exactly the opposite. Of course, adults also need to protect themselves from identity theft and stalking on the web; however, they must also realize what they are risking if their life consists entirely of avoidance.
In real life – that is, off-line and thus “on-site in real life” – we should touch (click) more of what hyperlinks are in the virtual world: new ideas, new experiences, the enriching discovery of an error, a new relationship to a forgotten part of the personality or a lifelong dream.